Real estate negotiating happens far beyond the negotiation table\u2014and long before anyone ever sits down at it. Negotiation is in every action and interaction, every set up and even \u201cscrew up\u201d (hint: there are no mistakes\u2014but we\u2019ll get to that later).<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s a lesson in game theory for those seller\u2019s games you didn\u2019t even realize you were playing, from experts you never imagined could help you sell your house:<\/p>\n The FBI\u2019s hostage negotiation unit created the Behavioral Change Stairway Model<\/a> to successfully navigate high-stakes situations. Turns out: whether you\u2019re rescuing a hostage from a criminal wielding an assault rifle or rescuing yourself from a crummy deal, these negotiation techniques apply.<\/p>\n Active Listening:<\/strong> Listen to their side and make them aware you\u2019re listening.<\/p>\n Empathy:<\/strong> You get an understanding of where they\u2019re coming from and how they feel.<\/p>\n Rapport:<\/strong> Empathy is what you feel. Rapport is when they feel it back. This is how you earn their trust.<\/p>\n Influence:<\/strong> Earning their trust means you\u2019ve also earned the right to work on problem solving with them and recommend a course of action.<\/p>\n Behavioral Change:<\/strong> They act. In a positive way.<\/p>\n Even if you think you\u2019re already doing all these steps, chances are you\u2019re skipping right to the last two. Most of us are hardwired to jump right to the fourth step by saying \u201cthis is why I am right and you\u2019re wrong,\u201d because we make the mistake of believing that logic is what changes minds.<\/p>\n But appeal to someone\u2019s logic, and you\u2019re unlikely to get a response. Appeal to their emotion, and you exponentially increase your chances of getting what you want.<\/p>\n So, how do you put steps one through three into action?<\/p>\n Prove your listening skills by asking your buyer or your buyer\u2019s agent open-ended questions (ones where the answer is never a simple \u201cyes\u201d or \u201cno) and tailoring the way you show your house to the specific buyer.<\/p>\n Know they have a baby on the way?<\/strong> Decorate that room off the master bedroom in a way that suggests \u201cnursery.\u201d<\/p>\n Know your buyer works in the music industry?<\/strong> Be sure you have music softly playing to show off your home\u2019s sound system during the showing.<\/p>\n Heard the buyer is wondering if your book collection comes with the cozy library?<\/strong> Set one of the most beautiful coffee table books open to your favorite page when they come by.<\/p>\n Connect with them on a human level, not just a business one. Business negotiations traditionally ignore emotional investment, pretending emotions have no place in business. While people tend to think this works to their benefit, it actually does the precise opposite. When you speak their emotional language, you can better sell the EMOTIONAL VALUE of your house.<\/p>\n When Robert Kraft, owner of the New England Patriots in 2011, ended the NFL lockout, he claimed his primary negotiation tactic was establishing relationships of trust.<\/strong> He went over and above to develop personal relationships with everyone involved. It paid off when all the players were infinitely more willing to listen to what he had to say, and to work with him.<\/p>\n You can do this most effectively by connecting directly with your buyer. The problem is that many agents rarely allow this to happen. Still, even if you\u2019re dealing only with your agent or your buyer\u2019s agent, you can carefully plant the seeds for trust to blossom.<\/p>\n Here\u2019s how: you gain a person\u2019s trust by showing trust in them.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Be open right up front about things you might not normally bring up with a buyer.Give them full disclosure about your concerns with your house upfront. Or at least make them think you are. Choose something that isn\u2019t too small an issue but also isn\u2019t too large\u2014something that will cost only a few hundred dollars to repair. For example, you might say something like, \u201cFull disclosure: I think there is some damage in the chimney that I doubt you\u2019d even ever discover yourselves, but I\u2019m going to go ahead and fix that up for you now.\u201d<\/p>\n Make them aware that you\u2019re aware of the comparables in your area. They\u2019re already fully aware of the homes for sale similar to yours. You can even use our Home Value Estimator<\/a> to pull some up for free. Speaking openly about their pros and cons is the ultimate power move\u2014it shows you\u2019ve done your research and you\u2019re STILL confident that your house is the best one for them. It also shows you actually have their best interest at heart, too . . . which gains some serious trust.<\/p>\n The fundamental rule of improv comedy is rooted in two words: \u201cYes, and.\u201d It is from these words that any scene can blossom into something not only funny, but genius. It\u2019s as simple as it sounds.<\/p>\n When improvising, if your scene partner were to say \u201cThe horse you bet on lost.\u201d and you reply, \u201cI didn\u2019t bet on a horse! We\u2019re at the bank!\u201d\u2014you\u2019ve just killed the scene by denying the reality your partner set up. Instead, you\u2019d want to say something like \u201cOh no, I needed that money to save the farm!\u201d With this answer, you\u2019ve inherently said \u201cYes\u201d to your scene partner\u2019s choice \u201cAND\u201d added a new piece of information to make the scene go somewhere else.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, And\u201d is what takes improv scenes to fun places because it\u2019s the primary tool used to create instant depth in relationships between characters.<\/p>\n In business, people often think they are saying \u201cYes, and,\u201d but they\u2019re really usually saying \u201cyes, but.\u201d These are not interchangeable. At all. Think of when people have said \u201cyes, but\u201d to you.<\/p>\n \u201cYes! That\u2019s a great goal! But it will never work.\u201d<\/em> \u201cYes, but\u201d is a denial, not an affirmation. Even worse, it often feels unnecessarily patronizing.<\/p>\n Negotiation is like improv in that you always want to keep the conversation going forward\u2014moving somewhere else. Responding with \u201cyes, and\u201d as often as possible shows you\u2019re not only listening to your buyer, you\u2019re addressing their concerns rather than glossing over them and turning the conversation immediately to your own concerns.<\/p>\n When the buyer expresses a concern or a want, simply decide ahead of time that you\u2019re going to respond with \u201cyes, and\u201d no matter what it is they say. This doesn\u2019t mean that you\u2019re agreeing to whatever they\u2019re asking of you. It signifies agreement in the sense of understanding.<\/p>\n Here is an example.<\/strong><\/p>\n A buyer says: \u201cYour living room is so relaxing. Could you throw that furniture into the deal?\u201d You don\u2019t want to sell your living room furniture, but you recognize from this statement that what they\u2019re seeking in a new house is relaxation. You acknowledge that desire and build on the other ways they could achieve that if they were to buy your house.<\/p>\n You reply, \u201cYes, the whole house is so peaceful\u2014such a sanctuary away from the city\u2014and I totally get it: my relaxation time is so important to me. That\u2019s why I chose to live here myself . . .\u201d and you list the reasons why your house IS relaxing.<\/p>\n You can go on to say the furniture is not for sale, but show them why that is not crucial to what they really actually want or perhaps throw in something else to sweeten the deal.<\/p>\n Every magic trick has one thing in common. Spoiler: it\u2019s not magic. It\u2019s misdirection.<\/p>\n Actively manipulating the attention and focus of your audience is what makes room for the \u201cmagic\u201d to happen. What\u2019s more? The magician walks away getting exactly what he wanted, and the audience applauds him for it.<\/p>\n A way to utilize misdirection during a negotiation is to simply change the subject. Negotiations don\u2019t always focus on one single figure\u2014there are typically several issues that need to be settled.<\/p>\n By changing the subject at key moments of disagreement or stalling, you can bring new perspective to the issue that was causing the standstill. After hopping around from issue to issue, both parties will usually find themselves quicker to compromise. Why? Because the deeper into any negotiation you get, the more you want it to be over.<\/p>\n Change the subject during negotiations with your buyer or agent when things aren\u2019t going as you\u2019d like or as they\u2019d like. Here\u2019s how that might work:<\/p>\n Let’s say your buyer refuses to budge any higher on the purchase price and are about call of the deal completely. Change the subject to the closing date, conveyances, or the home inspection. By the time you get back around to the price, you\u2019ll find your buyer might will be far more willing to compromise than they were before.<\/p>\n The CEO may seem like the closest to what you\u2019re doing when you selling your house: negotiating a business deal. But there\u2019s a reason to distinguish between the CEO\u2014the business mogul\u2014and simply the businessman. Risk. Of course, you don\u2019t want to risk your sale in any way. But no high-powered executive ever got anywhere without taking some risks. In our case, the only risk you need to take is the move to feign risk.<\/p>\n![\"an](\"https:\/\/www.homelight.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/real-estate-negotiation-tips-fbi.jpg\")
<\/a>1. Real Estate Negotiation Tips from The FBI Hostage Negotiator<\/h2>\n
The Behavioral Change Stairway Model Consists of Five Simple Steps:<\/h3>\n
Concrete Action for Your Real Estate Negotiation:<\/h3>\n
<\/a>2. Real Estate Negotiation Tips from The Sports Team Manager<\/h2>\n
Concrete Action for Your Real Estate Negotiation:<\/h3>\n
<\/a>3. Real Estate Negotiation Tips from The Improv Performer<\/h2>\n
\n \u201cYes! That\u2019s a great dress! But do you really want to wear it tonight?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\nConcrete Action for Your Real Estate Negotiation:<\/h3>\n
<\/a>4. Real Estate Negotiation Tips from The Magician<\/h2>\n
Concrete Action for Your Real Estate Negotiation:<\/h3>\n
<\/a>5. Real Estate Negotiation Tips from The CEO<\/h2>\n